One Year After the Sichuan Earthquake (1 of 2)

It’s so inspiring to have the opportunity to talk to Dr. Yin Yin Nwe, the UNICEF Country Director for China, a year after the Sichuan earthquake. It’s really an eye-opening evening for me. I felt the click right away after our first conversation – perhaps because she was a geologist and can talk Bahasa Indonesia (she was UNICEF’s regional representative for Indonesia during the tsunami disasters couple years ago).

Below is the picture taken during the “An Evening of Ten-million Thank Yous” at The Richmond Gallery.

A special evening with Dr. Yin Yin Nwe, UNICEF's country Director of China, who spoke about her direct experience in leading UNICEF's emergency response in Sichuan, helping the people of China rebuild their lives.

 

I’ll write about her key note presentation in the second part.

I am A Thousand Winds that Blow

I went to the Friday’s 7PM Mass at St. Joseph the Worker Church – I used to do it on my birthday to give my gratitude to Him for all His gifts and blessings. The mass was also served as memorial mass for one of our deceased church members. There’s a very lovely poem on the distributed paper:

I am with you still

I give you this one thought to keep –
I am with you still – I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone –
I am with you still – in each new dawn.

~ Anonymous ~

Father Mario gave a very touching homily. Catholic Christians cannot be dead because our body and soul will be united when we’re raised from the dead. A little bit consoling for the ones who’re left behind… The poem touches my heart deeply – I wonder how I’d take it when one day the people I love finish their pilgrimage in this world and leave me…

I posted the poem on my Facebook. Only then I knew from Kawamura-san that the poem has become a very popular song and loved by so many people there. I googled and found this lovely poem and song.

According to some information the evidence indicates that Mary Frye is the author of Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep – although the origin of this poem is still in dispute. Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905-2004) was a housewife from Baltimore, USA. When a friend’s mother died this apparently prompted Mary Frye to compose the verse, which in various forms has for decades now touched and comforted many thousands of people, especially at times of loss and bereavement. Click this link for more info.  

I posted two versions of the song here (source: YouTube).

1. I am A Thousand Winds by Hayley Wistenra  – I bet you’ll cry when you listen to this song. *smile*

The lyric is as follows:
Please do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain

I am a thousand winds
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am a thousand winds that blow

Please do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die
I am the swift rush of birds in flight
I am the stars that shine at night

I am a thousand winds
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am a thousand winds that blow

Please do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain

I am a thousand winds
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am a thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glint on snow
I am a thousand winds that blow

 

2. Sen no kaze ni natte by the Japanese tenor, Masafumi Akikawa.  

 

I pray that I still have the time and opportunity to show His love to others that need it and to show my love to my loved ones. And, yes, please do not stand at my grave and weep… be glad, because I am a thousand winds that blow… *smile*

 

The Right to Live

A Letter to the Editor of the Newspapers in Toronto sent by A Parishioner of St. Joseph the Worker Catholic Church – I share the same opinion:

With all of the recent talk about euthanasia and giving people the right to kill others who may be terminally ill, suffering from chronic depression or simply unable to speak for themselves, if we as a society are really and truly concerned about preserving human dignity and offering compassionate care and support, we should rather be focusing on improving palliative care, and psychological and spiritual/emotional support options.

Speaking from experience, I have painfully but lovingly stood vigil with both my mother and father at their hospital bedsides in their last days before passing away. These difficult situations were indeed stressful but I can honestly say, also filled with deep love, respect and compassion for dying loved ones (which of course was shared by the medical and social work team as well). At times when pain started to become an issue, doctors and nurses where able to quickly and effectively administer pain management therapy to make this a non-issue, and a poor excuse to mercy killing. I cherish the memories of the last loving days and hours spent with my parents, and expressing nothing but love and kindness in ways that words simply cannot express.

So before we decide to legally allow the intentional killing of our most vulnerable citizens, let’s please give some really serious thought to how we can better extend palliative care and other treatment options which indeed offer the most compassionate care abd respect for human dignity, and life itself.

By your perseverence you will secure your lives

“Perseverence,” this is a translation of a Greek word that is rich with implications, including patience, constancy, resistance, trust.

Perseverence is necessary and indispensable when we suffer, when we are tempted, when we are inclined to be discouraged, when we are drawn to the seductions of the world, when we suffer persecution.

I think that you too have found yourself in at least one of these situations and have experienced that, without perseverence, you would have given in. Perhaps at times you did give in. Maybe now, at this very moment, you find yourself immersed in one of these painful situations.

What will you do? What should you do? Start again, and… persevere. Otherwise, the name “Christian” does not suit you.

You know that whoever wants to follow Christ must take up his cross each day, must love it, at least with his will. The Christians vocation is a call to perseverance.

The apostle Paul demonstrated his perseverance before the Christian community as a sign of Christian authenticity. And he did not hesistate to put it on the same level as miracles.

If you love the cross and persevere to the very end, you will follow Christ, who is in heaven, and therefore be saved.

It is possible to distinguish two categories of people: those who hear the invitation to be true Christians, but the invitation lands in their souls like a seed on rocky ground. There is a burst of fleeting enthusiasm, but afterward nothing remains. Then there are those who welcome the invitation, just as good soil receives the seed. And Christian life sprouts, grows, overcomes difficulties, and resists storms.

Christians have perseverance, and…

By your perseverence you will secure your lives. (Luke 21:19)

Naturally, if you want to persevere, it is not enough to rely only on your own strength. You must have God’s help. Paul calls God “the God of perseverance” (Rm 15:5).

You must ask Him for it, and He will give it to you. If you are a Christian, you will never be content with merely being baptized or doing some acts of worship or charity every now and then. You must grow as a Christian, and every growth in spiritual life can only come about in the midst of trials, obstacles, and battles.

Those who really know how to persevere are those who love. Love is never hindered by obstacles. It does not count difficulties or sacrifices. And perseverance is love that has been put to the test…

You should look to Mary, for she is the woman of perseverance.

Ask God to enkindle love for Him in your heart, and then perseverance, in all the difficulties of life, will come to you as a consequence, and with it the salvation of your soul.

And there is more. Perseverance is contagious. The person who perseveres encourages others to do the same… Let us set our sights high.We have only one life, and it is brief at that. Let us clench our teeth and stand firm from day to day; let us face one difficulty after another in order to follow Christ… and we shall persevere and our lives will be secure.

By: Chiara Lubich

The Word of Life, a sentence of Scripture, is offered monthly as a guide and inspiration for daily life. Its translation into 90 different languages and dialects reaches several million people worldwide, through print, radio, TV and the internet. From the Focolare’s beginnings, Chiara Lubich wrote her commentaries on each “Word of Life,” and after her death on March 14, 2008, her early writings are now being featured once again. This commentary, addressed to primarily Catholic audience, was originally published in January 1979.

If you would like to read experiences of life related to this or to past “Word of Life,” they can be found in Living City, the monthly magazine for the Focolare Movement (in print or online) or in books published by New City Press. Visit the website: www.livingcitymagazine.com; www.newcitypress.com. Visit the international website: www.focolare.org. You can subscribe to Living City magazine by writing to: Focolare Movement, P.O. Box 69523, 5845 Yonge St., Willowdale, ON M2M 4K3.

 

He Loved His Own in the World, and He Loved Them to the End

Do you know the context of this sentence in the Gospel? It is in St. John’s account of the Last Supper, when Jesus was about to wash the feet of His disciples and was preparing for the Passion. During the last moments that Jesus spent with “his own,” he revealed the love he had always had for them in the highest and most explicit way.

The words “to the end” mean to the end of His life, to His very last breath. But there is also the idea of perfection. That is, He loved them completely, totally with the greatest intensity, to the highest degree.

When Jesus would go on to His glory, the disciples would remain in the world. They would feel alone; they would have many trials to overcome. It is precisely in view of those moments that Jesus wanted to make them feel sure of His love.

In this phrase, can’t you sense Jesus’ entire lifestyle, His way of loving? He washed His disciples’ feet. His love made Him stoop to this lowly service, which in those days was done only by slaves. In addition to His amazing words, His miracles and all His deeds, Jesus was now preparing for the tragedy of Calvary in which He would give His very life for “His own” and for all people. He knew of their great need, the greatest need that people can have: the need to be freed from sin, which means from death, and to be able to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Only He could give them the peace and joy of everlasting life.

And so Jesus gave Himself up to death, crying out His forsakenness by the Father, until He was able at the very end to say, “It is finished” (John 19:30), that is everything is completed.

In these words we see both the tenacious love of a God and the tender addection of a brother. We Christians, since Christ is in us, can also love like this.

Now, I am not proposing, however, that you imitate Jesus by actually dying for others as He did when His hour came. Nor do I put before you models like Father Kolbe who died for a fellow prisoner, or Father Damien who contracted leprosy from his lepers and died with them and for them.

It may be that in the course of your lifetime you will never be asked to give your physical life for your neighbors. But what God certainly does ask of you is that you love them “to the end,” to the point where you too can say, “It is finished.”

This is what an elven-year-old Italian girl named Lisa did. She saw that her classmate and friend Georgina was extremely sad. She tried to comfort her, but it did no good. So she decided to find out what made her friend so sad. She learned that Georgina’s father had died, and that her mother had left her alone with her grandmother and had gone to live with another man. Lisa could sense the tragedy and decided to do something about it.

Even though Lisa was only a child, she asked Georgina to let her talk to her mother, but Georgina begged her to go with her first to visit her father’s grave. With great love Lisa went with her. There she overheard Georgina sobbing and imploring her father to take her with him.

Lisa felt heartbroken. The ruins of a little church were nearby and the two girls went in. The only things left inside the church were a small tabernacle and a crucifix. Lisa said, “Look, in this world everything is going to be destroyed; only the crucifix and the Eucharist will always be with us.” Georgina dried her tears and replied, “Yes, you’re right!” Then with tender love, Lisa took Georgina by the hand and accompanied her to her mother.

When they got there Lisa boldly told the mother, “I know this is none of my business, but it seems that you’ve left your daughter without the mother’s love that she desperately needs. And I’ll say one more thing, you’ll never find peace until you take her back to live with you, and are sorry and decide to change.”

The following day in school Lisa continued to support Georgina with her love. But something new happened. After school a car came to pick Georgina up; it was her mother. From that day on the car has kept coming regularly. Georgina now lives with her mother who broke off the relationship with the man she had been living with.

Looking at the small yet great thing Lisa did, we could say, “It is finished.” She did everything well, “to the end” and she achieved what she set out to do.

Think about it. How often have you started to take care of someone and then have given up using all kinds of excuses to silence your conscience? How many things have you started with enthusiasm and then not followed through in the face of difficulties you felt were beyond your strength?

The lesson Jesus is giving you today is this:

“He loved His own in the world, and He loved them to the end.” (John 13:1)

Love to the very end. And if one day God should actually ask for your life, you will not hesitate. You will be like the martyrs who went to their deaths singing. Your reward shall be the greatest glory because Jesus said, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)

By: Chiara Lubich

The Word of Life, a sentence of Scripture, is offered monthly as a guide and inspiration for daily life. Its translation into 90 different languages and dialects reaches several million people worldwide, through print, radio, TV and the internet. From the Focolare’s beginnings, Chiara Lubich wrote her commentaries on each “Word of Life,” and after her death on March 14, 2008, her early writings are now being featured once again. This commentary, addressed to primarily Catholic audience, was originally published in January 1979.

If you would like to read experiences of life related to this or to past “Word of Life,” they can be found in Living City, the monthly magazine for the Focolare Movement (in print or online) or in books published by New City Press. Visit the website: www.livingcitymagazine.com; www.newcitypress.com. Visit the international website: www.focolare.org. You can subscribe to Living City magazine by writing to: Focolare Movement, P.O. Box 69523, 5845 Yonge St., Willowdale, ON M2M 4K3.

Smile

I think many of you watched either live or via re-broadcast and news about Michael Jackson Memorial at Staples Center in Los Angeles today (July 7, 2009). His brother Jermaine sang his favourite song, Smile.

There are people who may hear this song but still do not know that the melody was originally Charlie Chaplin’s. You will know it if you watch Modern Times.

Smile was the theme music for Chaplin’s last silent picture Modern Times in 1936. It became official when John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons added lyrics to Chaplin’s composition in 1954. Nat King Cole recorded the song and it became a hit! It reached the #10 position on the Billboard Charts in 1954.

Over the years, it became a standard which many artists have recorded including Tony Bennett, Barbara Streisand, Michael Jackson, Rod Stewart, Josh Groban, Michael Bublé, Elvis Costello, and Michael Bolton. Latest to record Smile is Robert Downey Jr. on his The Futurist CD. Downey played Charlie in the movie Chaplin.

This tune was one of Michael’s favourite songs, and he recorded a version of it on his 1995 album HIStory. It’s a lovely song… There’s a sense of melancholy but also optimism, and to hear Michael sang it over Chaplin’s movie as appears  here, gives me that powerful feeling that there’s always hope and that there’s something in all of us that can always overcome tribulations.

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just…

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just…

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile…

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile…

taken on July 6, 2009

Rest in peace, Michael…
Never met you,
never knew you in person,
but you certainly put smiles on my face because of your songs.

Note: this post also appears on my Facebook’s Notes.

Prepare Your “Suitcases”

Are you young and aspiring to a life that has an ideal, is totally committing and calls for a complete change in you? Then listen to Jesus, because no one else in the world will ask as much of you. You are being given an opportunity to prove your faith, your generosity and your heroism.

Are you an adult, longing for a sound way of life that is serious, committed and will not disappoint you? Or are you an older person hoping to dedicate the golden years of your life to someone who will not deceive you, to live without worries that exhaust you? These words of Jesus are also for you.

They conclude a series of exhortations in which Jesus asks you not to worry over what you will eat or what you will wear, but rather to act as the birds of the air that do not sow and the lilies of the field that do not weave. Banish from your heart, therefore, all anxieties over the things of this earth. The Father, who loves you more than the birds and the flowers, will take care of you himself. This is why Jesus tells you:

“Sell your belongings and give alms. Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy.” (Luke 12:33)

In its entirety, and in every word it contains, the Gosple demands everything from you, everything you are and everything you possess.

Prior to Christ’s coming into the world, God had never made such radical demands. In the Old Testament, earthly riches were seen as good, a blessing from God. Giving alms to the needy was demanded, but as a means to obtain the benevolence of the Almighty.

Later on, the idea of a reward in the next life became more commonly accepted among members of the Jewish faith. According to a rabbinical tradition, a king, who had been reprimanded for having given away his possessions, replied, “My ancestors accumulated treasures for this life, but I have accumulated treasures for the next one” (Babylonian Talmud, Baba Bathra 11a).

The word of Jesus are original because He demands a total gift. He asks everything from you. He doesn’t want you to be overly concerned about the things of this world. He wants you to rely on him alone.

He knows that earthly wealth is a tremendous obstacle for you because it can occupy your heart, whereas He wants to possess your heart for Himself. This is why He urges you: “Sell your belongings and give alms. Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy.”

If you cannot physically rid yourself of your possessions, because of family ties or other responsibilities, or if your position in life demands that you live in a certain way, you should still detach yourself from them spiritually, being no more than their administrator. In this way, while dealing with wealth you can love others, and by administering it on their behalf, you can accumulate a treasure that moths cannot destroy, nor thieves carry off.

How can you be certain about what you should keep and what you should share? Listen to the voice of God within you; if you cannot decide on your own, seek someone’s advice. You will discover how many superfluous things there are among your possessions. Do not keep them. Give them away. Give to those who have not. Put into practice these words of Jesus, “Sell … and give.” If you do thins, you will fill up bags that do not wear out.

Since you live in the world, it is only logical that you should be concerned with money and other material things. However, God does not want you to be preoccupied with them. So be concerned with securing only that amount that is indispensable for you to live according to your needs. As for the rest: “Sell your belongings and give alms. Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy.”

Pope Paul VI was truly poor. The way he wanted to be buried (“in a plain coffin in the bare earth”) proved this. Shortly before dying he told his brother, “My suitcases for that all-important trip have been ready for some time.”

This is waht you should do, too: prepare your suitcases.

In the time of Jesus they may have been called “money bags,” but the meaning is the same. Prepare them day by day. Fill them with things that might be useful to others. For you truly possess what you give away. Think of how much hunger there is in the world, how much suffering, how many needs.

Put every act of love and every deed done for your neighbour into your suitcases as well. Do everyhting for God, telling Him in your heart, “This is for You.” Perform every action well, perfectly, because it is destined for heaven, where it will remain for eternity.

By: Chiara Lubich

The Word of Life, a sentence of Scripture, is offered monthly as a guide and inspiration for daily life. Its translation into 90 different languages and dialects reaches several million people worldwide, through print, radio, TV and the internet. From the Focolare’s beginnings, Chiara Lubich wrote her commentaries on each “Word of Life,” and after her death on March 14, 2008, her early writings are now being featured once again. This commentary, addressed to primarily Catholic audience, was originally published in January 1979.

If you would like to read experiences of life related to this or to past “Word of Life,” they can be found in Living City, the monthly magazine for the Focolare Movement (in print or online) or in books published by New City Press. Visit the website: www.livingcitymagazine.com; www.newcitypress.com. Visit the international website: www.focolare.org.  You can subscribe to Living City magazine by writing to: Focolare Movement, P.O. Box 69523, 5845 Yonge St., Willowdale, ON M2M 4K3.

Because Without Me You Can Do Nothing

Imagine a branch cut off from the vine. It has no future, no hope; it is unproductive and there is nothing for it to do but dry up and be burned.

Think of the spiritual death we are destined for as Christians if we do not stay united to Christ. It is a frightening thought! It is complete sterility even if we work hard from morning till night, even if we think we are doing good things for humanity, even if our friends applaud us, even if our earthly goods increase, even if we make considerable sacrifices. All this may mean something to us here on earth, but it has no meaning for Christ and for eternity, and that is the life that really matters.

How can we remain in Christ and Christ remain in us? How can we be green and vigorous branches that are fully united to the vine? We should, first of all, believe in Christ. But that is not enough. Our faith should influence how we live our lives. We should, in other words, live in conformity with this faith by putting the words of Jesus into practice.

Thus we cannot neglect the divine means (such as the sacraments) that Christ has left us, the means that make it possible for us to reach unity with him, and to regain it if we have lost it.

Moreover, Christ will not feel that we are solidly united to Him unless we make the effort to be part of our ecclesial community, our local church.

“Whoever remains in me and I in him…”

Do you see how Jesus speaks not only of our unity with Him but also of His unity with us? If you are united to Him, He is in you. He is present in the innermost part of your heart. And from this comes a rapport, a dialogue of mutual love, a relationship of cooperation between Jesus and you, His disciple. And this is the result: you will bear much fruit, just as the branch that is solidly united to the vine bears grapes in abundance.

“… will bear much fruit” means that your life will be a fruitful witness to others. You will be blessed with the ability to open the eyes of many to the unique, revolutionary words of Christ, and to give them the strength to follow these words. It also means that in accordance with the gifts God has given you, you will be able to foster and even initiate projects to alleviate some of the sufferings of humanity.

“… will bear much fruit” means fruit in abundance, and this could mean that you will be able to create among those around you an atmosphere of goodness, of mutual love, of true communion.

But to “bear much fruit” does not only mean the spiritual and material well-being of others, but your own as well. Your spiritual growth, as well as your personal sanctification depend on your being united to Christ.

Sanctification? Perhaps, in these times of ours, to speak of sanctification may seem anachronistic, pointless, utopian. But it is not. These present times will pass and, with them, all such short-sighted and erroneous views. What will remain is the truth. Two thousand years ago, Paul the Apostle said clearly that sanctification is God’s will for all Christians. Teresa of Avila, a doctor of the Church, was certain that everyone can reach the highest contemplation. And the Second Vatican Council declared that all the faithful are called to holiness.

These are reliable voices. Work then so that you, too, may gather the “fruit” of holiness that you can do only if you are united to Christ.

Have you noticed how Jesus is not concerned with the fruit directly, but looks at it only as a result of our remaining united to Him?

It might be that some fall into the error of many Christians who believe only in activism and more activism, projects and more projects for the good of others, without taking the time to ask themselves whether they are fully united to Christ. This is a mistake. They think they are bearing fruit, but it is far less than what Christ in them and with them could bear.

If we want to bear fruit that will last and that will have the mark of something divine, we must remain united to Christ; and the more we remain united to Christ, the more fruit we will bear.

The very verb “remains” used in this sentence gives you an idea that this bearing fruit, is not a momentary but rather a permanent condition.

If you know people who lives this way, you will see, in fact, how even a smile, a word, a simple everyday gesture, an attitude in a given situation enables them to touch other people’s hearts even to the point of leading them back to God.

This is the way it was with the saints. But even if we are not saints, we should not get discouraged. All Christians are capable of bearing fruit. Let me tell you a story.

You know that students today can be so highly politized that little room is left for those who would like to be useful to humanity, but for other reasons.

It happened that way in Portugal. Maria do Socorro had just started college in a very tense environment. Many of the other students were involved in political disputes, each according to his or her own ideology, each trying to win over the students who had not joined any group yet.

Maria knew what she wanted to do, even though it was not easy to explain her whole strategy to her friends. She wanted to follow Christ and to remain united to Him. Her companions, however, who knew nothing of her ideas, labeled her wishy-washy, a girl without ideals. At times she felt awkward when they saw her to go to church, but she went just the same because she felt she had to remain united to Jesus.

As Christmas approached, Maria learned that some of the students could not go home because they lived too far away. She suggested that the other students get together and give them presents. To her great surprise all the students agreed right away.

Later, when there were school elections, another big surprise awaited her: she was elected as representative of her class. Her amazement was even greater, however, when her friends told her that it was only logical that she should have been elected, since she was the only one who followed a precise line of conduct. “You know what you want,” they said, “and how to go aboutaccomplishing it.” Now some of them want to find out more about the ideal of her life and to live it with her.

This is the fruit of Maria do Socorro’s peresevarence in remaining united to Jesus.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in Me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

By: Chiara Lubich

The Word of Life, a sentence of Scripture, is offered monthly as a guide and inspiration for daily life. Its translation into 90 different languages and dialects reaches several million people worldwide, through print, radio, TV and the internet. From the Focolare’s beginnings, Chiara Lubich wrote her commentaries on each “Word of Life,” and after her death on March 14, 2008, her early writings are now being featured once again. This commentary, addressed to primarily Catholic audience, was originally published in January 1979.

If you would like to read experiences of life related to this or to past “Word of Life,” they can be found in Living City, the monthly magazine for the Focolare Movement (in print or online) or in books published by New City Press. Visit the website: www.livingcitymagazine.com; www.newcitypress.com. Visit the international website: www.focolare.org. You can subscribe to Living City magazine by writing to: Focolare Movement, P.O. Box 69523, 5845 Yonge St., Willowdale, ON M2M 4K3.

Being Resilient Will Get Us Through

The source of the following writing is from Dr. Joseph Levy at Therapeutic Recreation Department and Centre for Health and Community Networks of Douglas College in New Westminster, British Columbia.

We have been reading, listening, and experiencing either directly or indirectly the global and local impact of the recent financial crisis.

However, while trillions of dollars are being lost, moved around, hidden, and re-invested, there is also a human side to this financial crisis.

One of the national newspapers stated that a 45-year-old VP from a major US corporation lost over 75% of his lifetime investments and savings. He had to give up his membership at the local country club and sell his yacht. His condos in Mexico, the Barbados, and Switzerland were repossessed. He, his wife, and his three college-enrolled children had to move from their mansion into a more modest 4-bedroom home without “servant’s quarters.” They had to give up their 25% ownership in a private plane they used for business and pleasure. I could carry on and on about the financial setbacks experienced by this family, but the real tragedy is yet to come.

While the VP’s salary and annual bonuses were slashed, he did not lose his job; he still had a house to return at night; his family was still able to live comfortably, albeit more modestly. Millions of people around the world have lost everything as a result of this global financial crisis and are far worse off than the VP in this story.

One week after the VP and his family moved into their modest home, the 45-year-old father of three children, married for 20 years to a very supportive wife, was found dead from a self-inflicted gun shot to the head while his family was out shopping.

A suicide note left by the distraught man explained that his financial loss made him feel like a “loser” whose self-identity, self-respect and self-image had been destroyed by his poor financial investments. What can we learn from this tragedy and the decisions made by other people also faced with similar if not worse personal crises?

Obviously, there are millions of people around the globe who have not committed suicide or resorted to other drastic self-destructive behaviours. What leads one person in a crisis to commit suicide and another to persevere and move on with life? In the health business it’s called RESILIENCE. What is resilience? What are the characteristics of resilient people? Over the past 40 years, as a teacher, therapist, researcher, and health planning consultant Dr. Joseph Levy has studied the characteristics of resilient people in order to help other develop resilient values, beliefs, and skills. You can learn to be more resilient, but many people need professional help.

What is Resilience?

The way we experience human life – bad or good – is fundamentally shaped by what happens in the inner sanctum or “core beliefs” (core muscles!). When events become overwhelming, when you want to throw in the towel, when adrenalin surges and you want to destroy the opponent or yourself, when things that should go right go wrong, when life keeps handing you lemons and losers, RESILIENCE emerges.

For many people through the centuries, the capacity to find the wherewithal, determination, and reason to cope despite the odds and more often than not, to find ways to see the light at the end of the tunnel, is something that has now been clinically and scientifically validated. For these resilient people, as the song from Annie goes, “The sun will come out tomorrow!”

Here is a short list of the qualities of the attitudes of resilient people:

1. Raison d’etre (Reason for living)

Resilient people have developed over the years a “purpose for living.” As they say, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” This purpose can be to care for your family, make the world a safer place, or keep your community clean and safe. This purpose has to be of a “higher order” other than to make yourself happy. This purpose has to be “outer” directed and aimed at serving a larger good in life. Religious people who have a sense of purpose tied to a higher cause in life have the lowest suicide rates across all income, cultural, and social classes.

2. Positive and Negative Mental Attitude

Resilient people are “approach oriented.” Life, including crises and problems are seen as opportunities. When life hands you lemons, learn to make lemon smoothies. Resilient people have a very wide comfort zone for interpreting life as a problem. Less resilient people quickly find problems in life, whereas more resilient people have a way of not seeing crises as overwhelming problems.

3. Incremental Success

Resilient people don’t use a highway truck scale to weigh a baby. They recognize and build from small successes while learning from setbacks. Instant success does not give you the good foundation to build on your resilience.

4. New Goal Setting After Failure

“If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.” Resilient people believe that, “failure teaches you how not to do things.” Resilient people accept that they cannot always change the world but that they can always change themselves and that will be the beginning of change in the world.

5. Faith – The Gaia Principle

The natural order of the world is made up of love, peace, harmony, structure, predictability, and certainty. When we affirm our personal worth through these naturally occurring phenomena, then we can confirm our universal existence. Highly resilient people have always felt a sense of connection to the world. Their self-worth, self-identity, and meaning in life can never be taken from them since they are connected to the higher powers in the universe. The same powers that make the sun rise and set and also give us birth, death, and the seasons.

As long as you can feel connected to Mother Earth and all the other mysteries of life, you will never feel disconnected and lonely, no matter how much money you have lost on the stock market or in real estate.

Dr. Victor E. Frankl, the concentration camp survivor who wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning, stated his resilient philosophy that kept him alive. The criminals running the camps could physically torture him, but they could never take away his human dignity, self-respect, and hope for the future. Frankl poignantly wrote, “We who lived in concentration camps can remember that men and women who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man or a woman, but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way… Fundamentally, therefore, any man, even under such circumstances, decides what shall become of him – mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp.”

It is never too early or too late to become a more resilient person. I witness that the older people get, the more they rely on their resilience to get them through the crises of life. And at the end of each crisis, they move to a higher plateau of coping, resilience, and mental health. We all need to see a crisis as an “opportunity” to make ourselves better and to improve the world.

Give the Gift You Have Received as a Gift

“As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” (1 Peter 4:10)

Edith, a young woman from Sardinia who has been blind from birth, lives in an institution for the blind. One day, the chaplain became paralyzed and could no longer celebrate Mass. Because of this, it was decided that the Eucharist could no longer be kept in the chapel. When Edith heard about this, she asked the bishop to let them keep the Eucharist, for it was the only light in their dark world. He granted her request and also gave her permission to distribute communion to the chaplain and the other residents.

In her desire to help others, Edith also took on the responsibility of preparing a radio program that is broadcast a few hours every week. She uses this program to share the best that she has to offer; advice, sound thinking and the explanation of moral issues to those who are suffering in order to give them strength. And there is much more that could be said about Edith. Although she is blind, her suffering has given her light.

I could give you other examples as well. There is goodness in the world that often goes unnoticed. Edith lives out her Christianity: she knows that each of us has received gifts from God and she has put hers at the service of others.

Yes, because the word “gift,” or “charism,” does not refer only to those graces that God gives to those who govern His Church. Nor does it refer only to those extraordinary gifts that God gives directly to individual Christians for the good of all when they are needed to solve a particular problem in the Church, or in times of serious danger when the existing institutions are not sufficient. Such gifts include wisdom, knowledge, the power to work miracles, the gift of tongues, the charism to generate a new spirituality in the Church, and so on.

These, moreover, are not the only gifts or cahrisms. There are other, more ordinary ones that many people possess and that are noticeable because of the good they bring about. The Holy Spirit is always at work. Furthermore, natural talents can also be considered as gifts or charisms. Everyone, therefore, is gifted. You, too.

How should you use your gifts? Try to make them bear fruit. They were not given to you for your own benefit alone but, rather, for the good of all.

There is a great variety of gifts. Since each person has his or her own gifts, each one also has a specific role to fulfill in the community.

Tell me, what gifts do you have? Do you have a degree? Did you ever think, for instance, of setting aside a few hours each week to teach those who need help, those who cannot afford to pay for their studies?

Are you a generous person? Did you ever think of getting together with other people of good will in order to help the poor and the outcasts of society? By doing this, you could restore a true sense of human dignity to many hearts…

Are you able to comfort others? Are you good at housekeeping, cooking, sewing or crafts? Look around to see who might need your help.

It’s painful to see how many people are bored because they don’t know what to do with their free time. We Christians do not have free time not as long as on this earth there are the sick, the hungry, the imprisoned, the ignorant, the uncertain, the unhappy, the addicted, the physically challenged, the orphaned, the widowed.

And think of prayer. It is such a powerful gift that we can use at any time, since in every moment we can turn to God who is present everywhere.

Can you imagine what the Church would be like if all Christians, children as well as adults, shared with others the graces they have received? Their mutual love would become so real, so abundant and so striking that non-Christians would be able to recognize them as true disciples of Christ.

For an outcome such as that, don’t you think you ought to do all you can to bring it about?

By: Chiara Lubich

The Word of Life, a sentence of Scripture, is offered monthly as a guide and inspiration for daily life. Its translation into 90 different languages and dialects reaches several million people worldwide, through print, radio, TV and the internet. From the Focolare’s beginnings, Chiara Lubich wrote her commentaries on each “Word of Life,” and after her death on March 14, 2008, her early writings are now being featured once again. This commentary, addressed to primarily Catholic audience, was originally published in January 1979.

If you would like to read experiences of life related to this or to past “Word of Life,” they can be found in Living City, the monthly magazine for the Focolare Movement (in print or online) or in books published by New City Press. Visit the website: www.livingcitymagazine.com; www.newcitypress.com. Visit the international website: www.focolare.org.  You can subscribe to Living City magazine by writing to: Focolare Movement, P.O. Box 69523, 5845 Yonge St., Willowdale, ON M2M 4K3.